I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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