I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
