I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
