i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
