like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
