Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
