Midget sex pt 2 tonight
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
