Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
