I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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