all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
