that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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