Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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