Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
