no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
