my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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