I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
