Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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