she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
