so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
