can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
