Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
