I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
