Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
