I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
