she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
