I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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