I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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