I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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