Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he shaved USA in his pubs
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
