Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize