New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
