I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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