Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
