I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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