whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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