Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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