Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
