I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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