Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
