I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
