whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
