We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
