I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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