I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
another moral hangover. fuck.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
