So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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