Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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