why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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