its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
