whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
