either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize