Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
