If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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