would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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