Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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