Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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