Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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